new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
