I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Someone shattered a urinal.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
