so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
