Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
