seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My ass is underappreciated
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
