Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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