how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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