Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
