some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
