Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
