a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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