The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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