Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
