now i know why i became what i already was.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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