You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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