well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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