4 words: hood of his car
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
