I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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