talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
