you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize
