period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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