i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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