that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
