I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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