Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
