Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
