sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
