They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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