my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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