I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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