Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
