Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
