I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
