Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
