YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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