I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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