So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
