idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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