why didn't you poke me back
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
