Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
