I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
