Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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