I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
this is an emotional support booty call
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize