I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
