i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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