do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
