Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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