I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
