if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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