I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
