I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
