I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
