he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
