i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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