Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
