No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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