3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
