I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
