Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize