I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
