That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
how drunk are you?
Several
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
