you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize