mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
