Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
