as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
