this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
